First time voters

Having just watched the 'first time voters' version of Question Time I cannot help giving young people a vote of no confidence. At the risk of sounding stuffily older than my nineteen years I do wonder why it wasn't until the final minute or so of the programme that one bright spark pointed out that we should stop waiting for politicians to 'connect' with us and go and find out about party policies ourselves.

It seems that our combined obsession with celebrity culture and being spoon fed our whole lives has left us waiting for Hugh Grant to turn up on our doorstep looking for Natalie. I do believe that it is vital for politicians to engage with young people and take their concerns and needs seriously rather than as secondary to helping their own generation but that's not to say we cannot be politicised until it's thrown in our faces. Rory Bremner made an interesting point that young people are very much politically involved but not with the goings on at Westminster, we're more inclined to environmental campaigns and debt relief. I think it is glaringly obvious why this is, we can guarantee that our involvement in these issues will have a positive affect and will influence great change. Whether the party we give our vote to will remain true to its manifesto and produce any level of change is highly dubious. In an age of complete uncertainty of the future, particularly for the younger generation, the ability to trust those we bestow with power is a necessity. It's no wonder 30% of 11-25 year olds want Stephen Fry in Number 10.

The most important thing to do in the current political climate is not abstain. Get online, register here and make an informed decision. If we do not show a political interest we are asking to be ignored.

Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite

Tomorrow, the 27th February, is the anniversary of the death of Spike Milligan. A man of limitless talent, he was a successful musician, actor, playwright and an incredible comedian. Eddie Izzard has christened him 'the godfather of alternative comedy' and his silly humour proved to be immortal when his epitaph 'I told you I was ill' was finally approved by the Chichester Diocese in 2004, as long as it was written in Gaelic.


However, it wasn't always fun and games for Spike (an army nickname) who sadly conformed to Aristotle's theory that 'all men who are outstanding in philosophy, poetry or the arts are melancholic'. He suffered from bipolar depression for most of his life and witnessed ten mental breakdowns. He claimed that his experiences of war caused his first bouts of depression,

'Suddenly all these mortar bombs started to rain down on us and one blew me up. I should have stayed up really. I should never have come down'.

Nevertheless, it is testament to his character that he went on to present the video 'Me, depressed? Don’t make me laugh: a guide to overcoming depression'.


Despite being very much disconnected from this era I was lucky enough to have a father very much enthralled by it. He taught me to read by reciting Milligan poetry and I will never forget my bemusement as I stumbled over 'On The Ning Nang Nong', most certainly one of the finest poems ever written.


On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!


So, here's to a man gifted enough to bring joy and silliness not just to those who knew him, or to those who were of his generation but to anyone of any age. Those lucky enough to have, in the words of Jane Milligan, 'pieces of Spike in their lives' should take heed of the words written underneath 'Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite'...

'Love, light and peace'.

Winter apathy

After watching Russell Howard slew the Winter Olympics on this week's Mock The Week I couldn't help wondering why the British seem so adverse to this event. It is nail bitingly exciting (if you exclude the curling) combining extreme danger, incredible skill and tight lycra which doesn't always hold out as seen in the unfortunate case of Gillian Cooke. In no other competition would you have a no rules policy as in the snowboard cross or be able to watch people reaching 144 kilometres per hour as they slide through ice tunnels on what look like sophisticated baking trays.

The fact that I couldn't even find a video on YouTube of Paerson's fall in the women's downhill during which she traveled 60 metres in the air before crashing onto the slope is testament to the lack of interest in these games. It can be seen here at around one hour and thirty five minutes.


I cannot help but wonder if the real problem here is the word winter. The Brits love the Summer Olympics, if we're not glued to our televisions we're outside for once trying to become the next Colin Jackson or Kelly Holmes. Wimbledon has a similar affect on the Great British public, for a few weeks tennis courts around the country are inhabited by wooden rackets and old Dunlops. Along comes an equally if not more electrifying seventeen days of sport and we shy away as if we'll catch a cold just watching it.

Perhaps it's the conditions in which we live in, the lack of snow covered mountains being slightly detrimental to our ability to ski on home turf. Nevertheless, this doesn't stop us watching and supporting our team. It appears the Brits would rather bathe in the tragic gloom of winter than entertain any thought of it producing something fantastic. Yesterday Amy Williams won Britain's first gold medal in the bob skeleton, risking life and limb for sporting glory yet I am sure that very few people know this.


One of the best things about the Winter Olympics for me is the sense of comradeship and support shown by all the athletes for their fellow competitors. They are often described by commentators as 'like family' and despite the cliche it very much shows, reminding you that the famous Olympic spirit is undamaged by historical or current events. When Amy stood on the podium the two Germans in second and third place hoisted her onto their shoulders in celebration. It is a games in which the admiration for the althletes comes not just from the crowd but from their competitors.



Of the critical press the Winter Olympics are receiving here, Mark Adams, the International Olympic Committee's director of communications says, 'What I read in the British press bears absolutely no relation to what I've been seeing in the competition.' I support him wholeheartedly and I'm not even there. Eddie the Eagle will always be an icon of British winter sports but when he retired so did the viewings. It appears that British culture favours entertainment through stupidity rather than talent, the success of semiskilled and incompetent people (usually a product of 'reality' talent shows) is incredibly common these days and we love it.


Enough said.

Happy Valentines

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

Today I made a vital error, instead of picking up the Heat/Closer combination on sale in Tescos (trash I know but obviously it gets worse) I mistakenly grabbed Reveal/Best and put it through the self service along with my packet of Extra and garam masala. My excuse for wanting to buy this rubbish is that I am taking a seven hour train journey today, a poor one I know.

Anyways, having never heard of Best I decided to have a quick flick through...Frozen in time...what's up with Sharon's face? and an obviously qualified Lorraine Kelly discussing the value of rehab for sex addicts were among my favourite articles.

However, it was not til I reached BLITZ YOUR BELLY LOSE 10lb IN 14 DAYS that I began to believe these magazines should acutally be illegal.

Problem Number One: The main photo was of a woman no bigger than a size ten struggling to do up some shorts that if anything looked too big for her.

Problem Number Two: The diet. Breakfast on Monday was beans on toast. However, you could only have one slice of toast and 4 tablespoons of low sugar baked beans. Could you imagine cooking four tablespoons of beans? Half of your meal would be left as residue in the pan. Why don't these people eat the whole can and then do some exercise?

Problem Number Three: The handy hints dotted across the double spread page in pretty pink circles. The worst offender: Chew your food slowly so you don't gulp down excess air as you eat. Oh God. Breathing is going to make me look fat. I would hope that everyone reading this would take the same stance as me, yes eat slowly because it takes the human brain around 2o minutes to register that we're full, not because you might eat some air. However, something tells me that there will be teenage girls out there trying not to breathe as they chew down Tuesday's lunch, '4 oatcakes topped with ham and tomato and served with pickled onions'.

I'll be seeing you

If there is one artist I would love to see perform more than any other it would be Billie Holiday. Unfortunately for me, she died in 1959. Billie Holiday, real name Eleanora Fagan, led a remarkably tragic life which is reflected through the profound intimacy of her music.

She performed one of the first ever anti-racism songs, Strange Fruit, after witnessing a series of lynchings whilst on tour.

The song was written by Jewish teacher Abel Meeropol who was inspired by the photo below. The lyrics provide a chilling account of the ultimate evils of racism.

Southern trees bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
Blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees
Pastoral scene of the gallant south
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth
The scent of magnolia sweet and fresh
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh
Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck
For the rain to gather
For the wind to suck
For the sun to rot
For the tree to drop
Here is a strange and bitter crop



Listen here and admire its beauty.

Cuba Libre?

In 1998, five Cuban men who have come to be known as the Cuban Five were arrested in America and in June 2001, were falsely convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage and other related crimes against the United States. They are currently serving four life sentences and seventy five years collectively. The American justice system has continually failed these men and their families, in Cuba they are national heroes and across the world they are ardently supported.

The five men; Gerardo Hernández, Antonio Guerrero, Ramón Labañino, Fernando González, and René González, were sent by the Cuban government to Miami, the hub of the anti-Cuban terrorist movement, in the early 1990s to infiltrate anti-Castro groups in order to prevent criminal acts against Cuba. These organisations such as Commandos F4, Alpha 66 and Brothers to the Rescue act with full protection of the American government and over the last four decades have taken in excess of three thousand Cuban lives. When the Five had gathered enough evidence against these groups, particularly Brothers to the Rescue who René González had been dropping practice bombs in Miami with, they presented their findings to the FBI. The FBI took action, not against the terrorists, but against the Five.

In November 2000, after being held illegally and in solitary confinement for seventeen months, the Five began a seven month trial in Miami. Robert Pastor, a professor of international relations at American University claimed that, “Holding a trial for five Cuban intelligence agents in Miami is about as fair as a trial for an Israeli intelligence agent in Tehran”. A media frenzy surrounded the trial with newspapers screaming of Spies Among Us and labelling the five men as 'bent on destroying the United States'. Despite the ubiquitous community prejudice against Fidel Castro and the Cuban government, a change of venue was denied five times by the judge. Miami did not even have the appearance of justice and it was very much a case of 'sentence first-verdict afterwards'.

The Five were convicted on the 8th June 2001 on twenty five different counts. Gerardo Hernández was also convicted of conspiracy to commit murder due to his supposed involvement in the shoot-down of the Brothers to the Rescue aircraft in 1996 despite the prosecution attempting to withdraw this charge due to lack of evidence. Speaking to the BBC in 2007 Hernández stated, 'they needed to blame somebody, and they chose me'. The Five maintain their innocence, claiming that they had no intention to harm the U.S. or it's citizens. The Five have not been convicted of espionage but 'conspiracy to commit espionage' as there is no proof to support the claim that American military or political secrets were transmitted and no evidence that American national security was ever threatened.


It is not only the Five who have suffered at the hands of an unjust system, but their families also bear the unmerited retribution. Regular contact has been denied and in the extreme case, the wife of René González has never been granted a visa to see her husband. Olga Salanueva was deported back to Cuba a few weeks after Mr. González's arrest, it has been over ten years since they last saw each other. Due to Olga not being allowed to set foot on American territory her youngest daughter Ivette, who was only a baby when her father was arrested, was also denied access until last year.

On the 13th October 2009 Antonio Guerrero was re-sentenced to 262 months in prison, originally he was serving life plus ten years. Nevertheless, prosecutors and Mr. Guerrero’s lawyers had asked for the sentence to be reduced to 240 months. The New York Times reported how Leonard Weinglass, Mr. Guerrero’s lawyer made a statement saying, 'It was odd. You have a man who was on a military base but who didn’t take a single classified document and no one testified that he injured U.S. national security, but the judge still rejects the prosecutors’ request to lighten the sentence.' The sentences of Ramón Labañino and Fernando González are also set to change at a later date. Although these changes are positive, they are hardly radical and are a mere continuation of the injustice served upon these men. Furthermore, the men have reason to be wary of decisions made in their favour as they have been retracted in the past. In 2005 a panel of three judges ordered a retrial outside of Miami and decreed that the sentences should be overturned. Speaking at the time, Gerardo Hernández's lawyer Paul McKenna remarked, 'He is presumed innocent. All his convictions are vacated. They don’t mean anything anymore'. A year later this decision was abjured when a new panel voted ten to two to deny the Five a new trial.

It could be said that this is yet another conflict between communists and capitalists, a prolongation of feelings from the 1959 Revolution that America has yet to accept. However, it goes beyond that, it is a denial of basic human rights on the part of the American government recognised by communists and capitalists alike. It is injustice and prejudice of the highest order. For a country that prides itself in being a leader in democratic rule, its failings to provide a fair trial and just retribution are inexcusable. There is an extreme hypocrisy evident in the fact that Washington and its 'war on terror' have incarcerated the Five for what is essentially the equivalent of trying to find Osama bin Laden in Pakistan.

Over the world protests and vigils have been held in support of the Five and eight Nobel Prize winners, including Desmond Tutu, have campaigned for the immediate release of the men. There are support groups for the Cuban Five active in twenty seven countries, including America. When Gerardo Hernández spoke of the international support he said, 'as long as one person remains struggling outside, we will continue resisting until there is justice.' The struggle continues and if justice prevails the Cuban hope, 'volverán', - 'they will return' - will be accomplished.